Pride

Pride (Latin, superbia)

In almost every list pride (or hubris or vanity) is considered the original and most serious of the seven deadly sins, and indeed the ultimate source from which the others arise. It is identified as a desire to be more important or attractive than others, failing to give compliments to others though they may be deserving of them, and excessive love of self. Vanity and narcissism are prime examples of this sin.

Well this just might be a problem with our whole society then. Is pride even still considered a sin? Isn’t it even promoted in most first world countries? Everyone is trimmed and formed and pushed to be more important or attractive than others. For example: the people who passed the test with me today. Oh, university, how I have missed thou. The undeniable chance to feel like a total outcast, because the others are all portraying an image of designer fashion, success, loudness, and general superiority they would like to believe they have. Ah, the vanity. No, there is no resentment or bitterness here. Just please don’t force me to interact with these shallow people. Would they pay compliments to others, just because the other deserves it? Umm, no. But they would if they think it makes them look better. Have you ever had to deal with real narcissists? Like clinically relevant narcissists? I have. They are the total pain in the ass. By definition.

Do they carry an excessive love to their selves? Well, yeah. But then, that would probably be my mistake. See, I quite dumbly chose a university – an elite university – known for it’s business majors. Which is, like, the opposite of social and ethical criteria. And sadly, yes, I too have to pass this exam (which is considered the UTMOST IMPORTANT, or muy importante, if you will, at this school) even though I know that I’m never going to use this stuff ever again in my entire life. Ever. And I know it sounds like I’m holding a grudge here and trying to make myself sound better than the others, but that’s not my point. We have different goals and values, I get that. But that doesn’t change the fact that on the “humility” score of a personality test we took in the first semester, I was TWO WHOLE standard deviations over the rest of my class. Which, for people who didn’t have to burden their lives with statistics, means that I’m more modest than 95,4 % of the others. Which makes them look pretty arrogant. So what do I have to say about pride? Well, I at least know one person who is proud of me today. Because I totally nailed that insignificant, annoying exam. HA!

Envy

Envy (Latin, invidia)

Like greed, envy may be characterized by an insatiable desire. Those who commit the sin of envy resent that another person has something they perceive themselves as lacking, and wish the other person to be deprived of it.

This is considered to be a typical female feature, which almost prompts me to not relate to it. I’m kind of poled the other way sometimes, as I have pointed out in “lust”, and it’s not like I consider myself to be masculine or anything, it’s just that I defy the stereotypes. But usually, I guess, women are prone to be envious of others. Of how they look, what they’re wearing, and then they get all catty about it. Men might be envious of status, or material goods, I guess. But since I’m not really into that superficial stuff (except when it comes to entertainment), I’m more envious of spiritual goods.

For example, I’m jealous of all the stuff The BF knows. Like, it’s really hard to find a (meaningful) subject in which he gets stumped, doesn’t know a reference or can’t explain something. And that bothers me because I like to know stuff. That’s my thing. And he (more often than not) knows more. Sure, he’s older and reads the newspaper, whereas I cultivate myself with MTV, but still. When it does occur that I know something he doesn’t, I have a really hard time not getting all smug about it and rubbing it in his face. Because, really, he did nothing to deserve that. And besides, I do not believe in the practice of “depriving” someone of something to make yourself feel better. Do you really have to push others down to lift yourself up? I don’t think so.

Right now, of course, I am more envious of the people who have already passed the exam I have to take tomorrow, especially if they did well in it. Because it always seems so effortless for others, and I’m struggling, and will maybe get a mediocre grade. Now here’s an occasion where it would help if all the others looked really bad. In that sense – wish me luck, I hope I will be able to close this series with pride, rightfully.

Greed

Greed (Latin, avaritia)

Greed (or avarice, covetousness) is, like lust and gluttony, a sin of excess. However, greed (as seen by the church) is applied to the acquisition of wealth in particular. Scavenging and hoarding of materials or objects, theft and robbery, especially by means of violence, trickery, or manipulation of authority are all actions that may be inspired by greed.

Now this is the first sin I can’t really relate to. First of all, I don’t like excess. Except maybe in craziness or other fun stuff, I’m more of a moderate person. I’m not out to become a wealthy person, although I am more of a career person, but I chose this line of employment because it interests me, not because it pays a whoop-load of money (which it doesn’t, especially not in comparison with what you have to invest). If that were my motivation, I should have become a lawyer or a brain surgeon, like my parents wanted me to.

I just don’t get what other people see in huge amounts of money. I mean, have you seen rich people lately? Yuck, I don’t want to be like them. I don’t want to orient my life towards material goods. If there is a piece of furniture or whatever that I’d like to hang on to, it’s because of sentimental value. Something isn’t worth more to me if it costs more (way to stab american capitalism in the back, eh?). In fact, most of the time someone asks me: oh that’s nice, how much did it cost? I have no idea. Because I judge the worth of something before I buy it, and if it’s ok, then I don’t think about the price after that. If I ever do buy something expensive, I’ll probably feel guilty for a long while after anyway.

Maybe that comes from an ex-boyfriend. His family was obsessed with wealth, probably because they aspired to a level they could never attain, and thought we had more than we actually do. My mother’s appearance often makes that impression. But that often led to a conversation going: “how much did that cost?” “I’m uncomfortable talking about money.” “Oh right, money isn’t something you talk about, it’s something you have“. Dumb answer, asshole.

Even as a kid I wasn’t the type to say: “I want this! Gimme!”. First of all because it wouldn’t have worked, and second because I was more for spiritual wealth, like going to see Mickey’s Birthday Show in Disneyland. 100 times. In a row. And the only times I stole something was a piece of candy (in New York, none the less) and a stuffed Snoopy from preschool, which I still have and cherish. Otherwise I am totally against trickery or manipulation. But maybe I’m not the right person to write on this subject. After all, I’ve never had it hard when it comes to money, although there were scary threatening times. But I still just see money as a mean to maintain a certain living standard, which doesn’t include wealth.