Dear men – I have a bone to pick with you. I had a very unpleasant encounter with one of your kind yesterday evening, and although I know that you’re not all like that guy (I certainly don’t know any), I wish that if you do meet one you could set him straight. This is what happened: I was walking home from The BF’s, it was about seven – so not late, but already dark – and in the street in front of my apartment – which is in the middle of town – some guy passes me on his bike and grabs my crotch from behind. Just like that. He was hooded, so I couldn’t recognize anything, and my hand got caught in my purse when I tried to fling him off. Then he was gone.
Now I really don’t know what causes someone to think that that kind of behavior is appropriate. I see two options: one, he is some kind of freak that has no other way of ever touching a female being. Maybe he has social issues, maybe he’s darn ugly, who knows. In any case, there are ways to get help to overcome that so that you can interact normally – hey, maybe even have a partner, who knows! – and not have to assault people to cop a feel. You know, like exhibitionists. They can go to therapy too.
Two: he is part of some cultural background in which it is considered perfectly normal to treat women as objects at your disposal. You know, those kind who think it’s o.k. to grab a woman’s behind while she’s passing by, or who shout some kind of degrading, sexist remark in the street and call that “flirting”, or who get too close in a club and grind you up because it’s all “fun and games”. Well I’ve got news for you – IT’S NOT. I don’t care how drunk you are, how much your buddies are pressurizing you or how much you think I’m a bitch for reacting. IT IS NOT OK.
So to those men whom I do know and that have the skill to treat women with respect: teach these fools how it’s done. And to the coward from yesterday: you should consider yourself damn lucky that I was wearing heels and not my usual flat-soled shoes. Because otherwise, I would have hunted you down and kicked your ass.