All apologies

Writing has become very scarce, I am aware. I wanted to start back up and write like every other day, but that seems impossible now. Mainly because I feel less compelled to create a post about things I pick up, but maybe it’s a lack of motivation all together. That happens sometimes, and I can’t say how long it will last. But it’s also due to the fact, in current times, that I have two simultaneous real jobs, ergo only real free creative time on the week-end, where I have chosen, these last few weeks, to spend time with actual people. Meet friends, go out, things of that nature. However, as if I couldn’t make up excuses enough (which I’m not, these are all real, but it might seem by now that I’m whining and that would simply be unacceptable), I have this weird disease following me around all week.

It started on Monday, after my first full day at the clinic where the patient that was scheduled actually showed up this time, when I met The BF for coffee after dropping off a DVD we had rented over the week-end. I thought it would be a nice occasion to catch up and also to get my much needed caffeine ration (I had forgotten to buy coffee pads and therefore had no morning coffee all week). Plus – can you believe this, Jo? – it was an opportunity to introduce a local coffee shop to The BF, who until then had never stepped inside the Star Coffee. Anyway, I started getting really tired as we were talking, but thought it was just because of the early start (got up at 6 a.m.) and busy day. Only Tuesday, it just kept on going. It was this exhausting feeling, like when a cold is coming on, that every little activity gets you completely pooped. Then the headache kicked in and later in the evening, nausea. But besides that it was mostly my head being fogged up.

Wednesday, Thursday, Friday Saturday – all the same. In the morning I’m o.k., I manage to go to work and get things done. By noon, though, I feel like I’ve been hit by a ton of bricks and can’t stop yawning. Was there a Tsetse fly in my apartment? Was I lacking iron? Was it The BF’s cold from last week that decided to catch on late? He says it’s because I hadn’t rested all week and so I was just schlepping the cold along, not giving my body the time to let it kick in so I could really fight it off. Yesterday was as slow a day as I can afford right now, and in the late evening sure enough – the lymph node on my neck was swollen, it hurt to swallow and my nose was drippy. But this morning – it’s all different again! My throat is still sore, and I’m still tired as hell (even though I do get enough sleep), but it’s still not a cold. I don’t get it. I just want this to be over, so that I can get back to work.

It had been thrilling to work in a real clinic, with real patients (this time they have brain damage, not directly a mental illness) on the one side and to calculate my thesis’ results on the other (looking great – just three more weeks!), all while knowing I had a “real” week-end ahead. But as you can imagine, I’m not enjoying this. And the weather is not what was promised either, otherwise I could have made a field trip and maybe the green and fresh air would’ve helped. But nobody likes a sour-puss, and this post has pretty much just been complaints, so I think I’ll stop here. Just wanted to keep you guys posted. Hope you’re having a good time. See / read / write  you soon.

One thought on “All apologies

  1. hello sweetheart, i hope you will be feeling better soon. i am proud of you for making people aware of the greatness that is star coffee. i miss it.
    i apologise aswell, for being so lazy with the comments. i was planning to comment on your tilts but then i never got around to it. things haven’t been to thrilling at work so i am not feeling very energetic either.
    have a great new week!

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