Hello boys and girls and welcome to yet another sensitive subject brought to you by bubkes. Today, we’ll be talking about FUDs – female urination devices. Now don’t go running off just yet – I bet there’s a situation where you could need one too. Ever been to a rock festival, where the lines for the port-a-potties are never-ending? While the men drunkenly stand near a fence and gleely pee all over refreshment supplies? Well I’ve been there, seen that – and haven’t you ever wished, ladies, that it could be that simple for us, too? It can!
Imagine being outdoors – camping, on a riverside BBQing, at an event like the yearly Thingsstätte in Heidelberg where there are no bathrooms in a 5 mile radius and the only options is to stand (or squat) on a very steep hill, possibly filled with stinging nettles (which you can’t see anyway because it’s in the middle of the woods and there are no lights there). Not to mention some very questionable bars where you feel you could a) get AIDS just from sitting on the rim – and wiping the seat off is not possible because there’s never any toilet paper and that doesn’t kill the germs anyway – or b) making the mess worse for not being able to aim correctly… Fear not, help is here!
First, there are the waxed cardboard / disposable types, like Urinelle and P-mate (don’t you just love these names?). Now, I imagine these to be rather uncomfortable, being that they’re made of paper. Plus, it’s not a good idea for the environment. But I do understand that this was the first idea to go to when this type of device was first invented. Yet, luckily, the idea has spread and developed – to the second type.
These are made of plastic or silicone and are reusable. This might sound gross at first, but think about it: urine is sterile when it leaves the body. This sort of device – like SheWee, GoGirl and WhizBiz (again, the names!) – can easily be stored in a zip-lock or even comes with its own storage tube. And if you’re at some concert or the like, I would recommend bringing along some anti-bacterial gel for the hands anyway. Then when you’re back home you can just clean it off, and you’re good to go again!
For those of you who are hard-core and really want to rough it, go to Stand2Pee and learn how to pee standing up, without exposing your tushes, and just by using your fingers. As a women. Crazy world. Oh and men, in case you’re still reading by now, you can also go there if you need help finding certain areas… There are some detailed graphics showing the various parts of a female anatomy. Speaking of men, women and urinating while standing up: here’s my last tip as to when you might want to use a FUD.