I found this website a while back (don’t remember how, probably over feminism – wait guys, keep reading!) and hesitated if I wanted to post it or not, worried about the image it might reflect on me. But this week I thought: that’s just it. The image people get about women who talk about sex is only bad according to the “slut” schema and I don’t want to propagate that. I want women to be able to talk freely about sex, know themselves better and feel good instead of ashamed.
So I proudly present to you: Dodson & Ross, or more precisely: Betty Dodson, an artist, author, and PhD sexologist, who has been one of the principal voices for women’s sexual pleasure and health for over three decades, and Carlin Ross, a young sex-positive activist, lawyer and entrepreneur. On their website you can find blog entries from themselves and users, a shop section with toys, DVDs, etc. and other general sex-positive sections. Their YouTube channel is filled with weekly webcasts (every Friday), in which they debunk century old myths about female sexuality, answer user questions and teach masturbation techniques. Yes, you read that right.
It’s amazing what every woman can still learn about, no matter at what age. Even the godmother of masturbation herself, Betty Dodson, only realized some things later in life. And I think it’s important to share this information! Who else gives sex-positive, myth-free sex education these days? For instance: forget about searching for the “G-Spot”, dear partners, and forget about vaginal orgasms. It turns out the clitoris isn’t just the little nubbin you can see from the outside, but a whole system inside a woman’s body. So the (very rare!) women who can get vaginal orgasms are getting it through indirect clitoral stimulation. Same with the “G-Spot”. Women have more nerve endings in their clitoral bulb than men have anywhere on their body. Use it.
Oh, and another thing: quit using the word “frigid” for women who don’t want to have sex often. There will never be a pill that can make us want it, because it happens in our head and not because of some bodily functions. What might help is finding out what turns that woman on. Studies have shown that desire comes after stimulation, not the other way around. So next time you’re missing it, remember: think of something you like or start playing with yourself – it won’t pop out of nowhere.
There. I hope I didn’t creep anybody out. I just hope women can some day be more open about all this and I really think we would all profit from it if women knew themselves better. And men can learn from it too! Then maybe someday we’ll all live in a sane and happy world.